Preventative actions By Darin Mieszala
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How We Can Prevent Cyber Bullying
While some students, parents, or community activists take the fight against cyber bullying head on with much passion, some of us might not have the time or resources to do the same. However, the kids in our families and communities can benefit with all of our assistance if we are all equipped with a little knowledge of awareness about this threat. Perhaps we might even save a loved ones life, or help protect somebody we might not even know in more ways than we can ever imagine. Together we can make a bigger difference than any one person can do by themselves, and it is our responsibility as students, educators, and parents or caregivers to understand what we can do that can make a difference and act accordingly if we suspect cyber bullying.
As a Student: Don't encourage the cyber bully. Laughing at the bullied victim entices the perpetrator to continue these kinds of acts and although not directly part of the bullying, bystanders usually play an important part in the widespread prevalence of cyber bullying. As a community of students we need to stand up for those who are being tormented. If you see or know somebody being bullied give them positive support, tell an adult at home or school, or if safe let the bully know that you think their actions are wrong and very hurtful. Being a bully might be a stepping stone to other other criminal and reckless behavior later in life and according to stopbullying.com 60% of boys who bullied others in middle school had a criminal conviction by age 24. While we do not condone labeling people criminals especially early in life, if you are bullying reflect on what kind of decisions and actions you are committing and promise yourself to make a change for the better. Online activity can always be tracked and there are cases that students and their parents even had lawsuits filed against them due to cyber bullying, which is another incentive to stop the bullying. When people grow up they will most likely remember two kinds of people from school, the ones that bullied them, and the ones that stood up for them. You never know how and when you might meet somebody again down the road, they may end up being your boss or somebody famous, in those cases which would you prefer them to remember you as?
As an Educator: It is important to teach online etiquette to our children in our technological society. Students who bully may not know the extent of damage they may be causing another individual. Making them aware of the many cases where students took their own lives over cyber bullying will awaken them to how hurtful it really can be. Distributing pamphlets and having anti-bullying policies have become more common but still are far from universal. If you work in a school and notice little is being done to educate the students about what to do when being cyber bullied or the effects it can have, take the initiative and talk to the administration about starting a program to raise awareness. Bullyfree.com has lesson plans and www.childswork.com/Bully-Prevention/ has games to help if you are looking for a place to start. Donorschoose.org/ is a great resource for teachers to help get funding for games, field trips, or other tools that might help prevent bullying.
Although cyber bullying may occur during non-school hours students often talk about cyber bullying occurrences during school hours so educators should try to be aware of student conversations throughout the day. Disciplining somebody you suspect of cyber bullying can be tricky, especially if little evidence, but at least talking to the student and in some cases informing their parents or other forms of action can only help. Just be careful, if you feel that somebody is using their cell phone or other instrument to cyber bully in class do not search their personal digital device without researching the laws as this might be in violation of wiretapping or illegal search and seizure laws. Bring your concern to the administration if you are concerned somebody might be cyber bullying in or out of your classroom and unsure or unaware of how to legally handle the matter. States can have different policies, so maybe research your state's laws on procedure to handle certain cases. Schools can be sued over preventing free speech online as well, but having contracts with students and parents of students can avoid this constitutional issue if it threatens or harasses another student according to stopcyberbullying.org. School districts might have lawyers you can talk with as well to figure out all the laws and how you can work your way around them. Essentially, you can get sued for not stopping bullying or trying to stop bullying so this shows how important it is to get to know the laws and have well planned out policies in place for potential instances.
As a Parent or Guardian: You should try to be proactive in your child's school life and get to know their experiences whether good or bad so you can help them make wise choices. This will lead them to have a better experience and attitude towards school and others as well. It is such a big part of childhood and being accepted among peers is one of their primary concerns starting in the earliest stages of education. Most kids who are getting bullied will not mention this straight out to you. However, there will be signs such as them asking to stay home from school or others mentioned in the "signs and effects" link above. If you ask them "how was school today?" or "are you getting along with the other students?" chances are they will answer with one word, like "fine" or "yes." You don't want to seem intrusive by asking further when they don't want to talk, but slowly you are going to have to show them you care. Try asking innocent open-ended questions that you can build on once they open up a little bit more. It is important to stay calm and try to let them try to figure out a solution albeit with a little help and guidance with questions such as "how do you think you should handle this?". If you are having a hard time finding the truth, get somebody else the child can talk to such as a coach, teacher, counselor, relative, or family friend. With cyber bullying chances are the teacher will be quite unaware of it happening so you can call the school and try to schedule a meeting after school with them so they can be aware of what might be happening and help find a solution in getting the cyber bullying to cease. Lastly, monitor your child's internet use. Ask them what pages they visit similar to asking where they are going when they leave the house. It is important to know how they spend their time on their computer and can make you aware of the potential threats they may be encountering.
All-In-All: There are plenty of resources online that will build on what is mentioned here that contain creative ideas and professional resources regarding cyber bullying. Stopbullying.com, bullying.org, and www.ncpc.org/newsroom/current-campaigns/cyberbullying are just a few of them. Just a little research and action, if needed, can go a very long way to brighten the day for others, be it your child, friend, sibling, or just somebody you know that desperately needs that somebody to help them out. They will be thankful for it more than you may know.
While some students, parents, or community activists take the fight against cyber bullying head on with much passion, some of us might not have the time or resources to do the same. However, the kids in our families and communities can benefit with all of our assistance if we are all equipped with a little knowledge of awareness about this threat. Perhaps we might even save a loved ones life, or help protect somebody we might not even know in more ways than we can ever imagine. Together we can make a bigger difference than any one person can do by themselves, and it is our responsibility as students, educators, and parents or caregivers to understand what we can do that can make a difference and act accordingly if we suspect cyber bullying.
As a Student: Don't encourage the cyber bully. Laughing at the bullied victim entices the perpetrator to continue these kinds of acts and although not directly part of the bullying, bystanders usually play an important part in the widespread prevalence of cyber bullying. As a community of students we need to stand up for those who are being tormented. If you see or know somebody being bullied give them positive support, tell an adult at home or school, or if safe let the bully know that you think their actions are wrong and very hurtful. Being a bully might be a stepping stone to other other criminal and reckless behavior later in life and according to stopbullying.com 60% of boys who bullied others in middle school had a criminal conviction by age 24. While we do not condone labeling people criminals especially early in life, if you are bullying reflect on what kind of decisions and actions you are committing and promise yourself to make a change for the better. Online activity can always be tracked and there are cases that students and their parents even had lawsuits filed against them due to cyber bullying, which is another incentive to stop the bullying. When people grow up they will most likely remember two kinds of people from school, the ones that bullied them, and the ones that stood up for them. You never know how and when you might meet somebody again down the road, they may end up being your boss or somebody famous, in those cases which would you prefer them to remember you as?
As an Educator: It is important to teach online etiquette to our children in our technological society. Students who bully may not know the extent of damage they may be causing another individual. Making them aware of the many cases where students took their own lives over cyber bullying will awaken them to how hurtful it really can be. Distributing pamphlets and having anti-bullying policies have become more common but still are far from universal. If you work in a school and notice little is being done to educate the students about what to do when being cyber bullied or the effects it can have, take the initiative and talk to the administration about starting a program to raise awareness. Bullyfree.com has lesson plans and www.childswork.com/Bully-Prevention/ has games to help if you are looking for a place to start. Donorschoose.org/ is a great resource for teachers to help get funding for games, field trips, or other tools that might help prevent bullying.
Although cyber bullying may occur during non-school hours students often talk about cyber bullying occurrences during school hours so educators should try to be aware of student conversations throughout the day. Disciplining somebody you suspect of cyber bullying can be tricky, especially if little evidence, but at least talking to the student and in some cases informing their parents or other forms of action can only help. Just be careful, if you feel that somebody is using their cell phone or other instrument to cyber bully in class do not search their personal digital device without researching the laws as this might be in violation of wiretapping or illegal search and seizure laws. Bring your concern to the administration if you are concerned somebody might be cyber bullying in or out of your classroom and unsure or unaware of how to legally handle the matter. States can have different policies, so maybe research your state's laws on procedure to handle certain cases. Schools can be sued over preventing free speech online as well, but having contracts with students and parents of students can avoid this constitutional issue if it threatens or harasses another student according to stopcyberbullying.org. School districts might have lawyers you can talk with as well to figure out all the laws and how you can work your way around them. Essentially, you can get sued for not stopping bullying or trying to stop bullying so this shows how important it is to get to know the laws and have well planned out policies in place for potential instances.
As a Parent or Guardian: You should try to be proactive in your child's school life and get to know their experiences whether good or bad so you can help them make wise choices. This will lead them to have a better experience and attitude towards school and others as well. It is such a big part of childhood and being accepted among peers is one of their primary concerns starting in the earliest stages of education. Most kids who are getting bullied will not mention this straight out to you. However, there will be signs such as them asking to stay home from school or others mentioned in the "signs and effects" link above. If you ask them "how was school today?" or "are you getting along with the other students?" chances are they will answer with one word, like "fine" or "yes." You don't want to seem intrusive by asking further when they don't want to talk, but slowly you are going to have to show them you care. Try asking innocent open-ended questions that you can build on once they open up a little bit more. It is important to stay calm and try to let them try to figure out a solution albeit with a little help and guidance with questions such as "how do you think you should handle this?". If you are having a hard time finding the truth, get somebody else the child can talk to such as a coach, teacher, counselor, relative, or family friend. With cyber bullying chances are the teacher will be quite unaware of it happening so you can call the school and try to schedule a meeting after school with them so they can be aware of what might be happening and help find a solution in getting the cyber bullying to cease. Lastly, monitor your child's internet use. Ask them what pages they visit similar to asking where they are going when they leave the house. It is important to know how they spend their time on their computer and can make you aware of the potential threats they may be encountering.
All-In-All: There are plenty of resources online that will build on what is mentioned here that contain creative ideas and professional resources regarding cyber bullying. Stopbullying.com, bullying.org, and www.ncpc.org/newsroom/current-campaigns/cyberbullying are just a few of them. Just a little research and action, if needed, can go a very long way to brighten the day for others, be it your child, friend, sibling, or just somebody you know that desperately needs that somebody to help them out. They will be thankful for it more than you may know.
By: Darin Mieszala